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Being Gay [Jan. 21st, 2009|06:11 pm]
[mood | amused]


Had to copy this from Nate's LJ because it's not only very true but also very amusing.

*******

1. Being Gay Is Not Natural
And real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning, tattoos, piercings and silicon breasts...

2. Gay Marriage Will Encourage People To Be Gay
In the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3. Legalizing Gay Marriage Will Open The Door To All Kinds Of Crazy Behavior
People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract. Lamps are next.

4. Straight Marriage Has Been Around A Long Time And Hasn't Changed At All
Hence why women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5. Straight Marriage Will Be Less Meaningful If Gay Marriage Were Allowed
And we can't let the sanctity of Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage be destroyed.

6. Straight Marriages Are Valid Because They Produce Children
So therefore, gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our population isn't out of control, our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7. Obviously Gay Parents Will Raise Gay Children
Since, of course, straight parents only raise straight children.

8. Gay Marriage Is Not Supported By Religion
In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

9. Children Can Never Succeed Without A Male And A Female Role Model
Which is exactly why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10. Gay Marriage Will Change The Foundation Of Society; We Could Never Adapt To New Social Norms
Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.
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"I'm back baby"! [Jan. 17th, 2009|11:53 am]
[mood | happy]
[music |"I'm Back" Eric Bishoff's Theme]

Well it took a little longer than I expected but I'm FINALLY back on my own computer!  YAY!  And with the help of the Geek Squad from Best Buy I didn't lose a single file!  Double yay!  So now I don't have to feel like such an ass for using Nate's computer.  And Nate, again man, thanks so very much for letting me burrow it for a bit.  Hopefully this won't ever happen again, but I don't want to jinx myself. 

Still for now I'm just enjoying being on my own computer again and looking through my sites.  Not to mention being able to get back to writing!  hells yeah!  Hopefully I'll get the first chatper to "Sidekick, No More" finished this week and finally post it. 

Course the very last thing I gotta do is get Word again from Jeremy and I'm not looking forward to that.  Mostly cause I don't want to rely on him for anything since he's been REALLY pissy lately.  Bah whatever.  Hopefully he won't drag his ass on it.  Cause then I'd have to hurt him.  Hmmm...we'll see.

Good to be back!
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WHY LORD?!?! WHY IS IT ALWAY MEEEEEE?!?! [Jan. 8th, 2009|12:34 pm]
[mood | angry]


Well the seemingly invitible happened and my laptop has struck down with a virus.  Seriously what the fuck?!?!  Is it just TOO much to ask that I have a working computer for a full year?!  GAAAAAHHH!!!  Pisses me off!  Especially since I was being careful this time and letting the fucking virus scanner update!  Fat lot of good that did me!  Now the thing just won't finish starting up!  So at the moment I'm typing this on Nate's computer, but don't worry bro when you get back I'll take off.  Eric's coming into town next weekend so I'll see if he can help and if not I guess I'll just wait to talk to Jeremy again. 

Oy.

It's not even the possiblity of having to setting everything back up again that annoys me as I've gotten use to that and know where to find most of the stuff I want, it's the fact that I took the precaution to save all my fics but the one I want saved, the one I've been working on for a few weeks now, for some reason, just to mock me some more I guess, didn't save!  Thankfuly I already posted some of what I had on the Slash Haven so it's not completely lost but there are still at least five pages worth of extra stuff that's just GONE!  GONE!  FUUUUUUUUCK!!!!  I'm hoping it can still be recovered so I don't want to rewrite anything til I get the verdict on that but still...what a shitacular way to start out the year! 

Seriously WHY is it always me?!  Am I really that bad of a person?!
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"I'm back baby!" Oh and Happy New Year. [Jan. 1st, 2009|12:09 pm]
Should have posted this yesterday but I was busy unpacking, getting food, washing clothes and then just relaxing and watching the SciFi Twilight Zone Marathon. But yes I am back from my Christmas trip with the family. It was nice, good to see everyone again. Especially since my grandmother is trying to sell her house to it might have been the LAST Christmas we all had there.

The only part I really didn't like was getting violently ill on Friday so I wasn't able to go visit my other grandmother and my dad's side of the family. Course from what I hear a lot of them didn't make it there either so I guess I didn't miss TOO much but still...it wasn't fun being sick on vaction.

I'm better now though and happy to enjoy the last week and a half of my vaction and seeing what the new year brings. Hopefully something good. For everyone.

So Happy New Year everyone! Make it a good one!
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Heading home for the holidays [Dec. 19th, 2008|10:03 pm]
[mood | cheerful]


Or well at least Christmas.  Much like my roommate Nate I'll be heading out tomorrow morning to spend Christmas with my family.  I'm heading to my parents' house for the weekend and then we'll all be heading down ot my Grandma's for the week of Christmas.  Means I'll be out of touch for the week but oh welll.  Guess I'll just make due.  I'll be back on the 30th so all the guys who read this and who I talk to over on MSN we'll be able to chat again there.  I'm actually looking forward to it since we haven't been able to head down there for a few years since my mom's stroke.  So it should be fun. 

For awhile I'm sure my releatives will get on my nerves soon afterwards but that's what Chritmas is all about, right? 

Well I guess I'll talk to all you guys in about a week or so.  For now I leave you with this:


thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/thatguywiththeglasses/sketches/219-the-best-video-ever
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Huh. Well this is unexpected [Dec. 2nd, 2008|10:09 pm]
[mood | confused]


Wow haven't updated since Aug. 28th.  Gotta work on that. 

Your Social Dysfunction:
Normal


Being average in terms of how social you are, as well as the amount of self-esteem you have, you're pretty much normal. Good on you.

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

Please note that we aren't, nor do we claim to be, psychologists. This quiz is for fun and entertainment only. Try not to freak out about your results.
In other news...

<div That...doesn't seem right.

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"God damn this song" [Aug. 28th, 2008|09:11 pm]
[mood | confused]
[music |"I Kissed A Girl" Katy Perry]








That's two YouTube vids I have with that song on my faves.  Not too mention how many times I heard it over the summer on VAQ.  So why am I not sick of this song yet?!  It's stuck in my head most of the time and you'd think I'd get sick of it, but I don't.  Hell I'm trying to find ways to work it into some fics.  So why?  Why does this song hold such power over me?!  And how can I harrness that for my own sinster purposes?
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I really hate the first day. [Aug. 18th, 2008|05:06 am]
[mood | tired]

Well if you notice the time of this entry it's about 5AM here and I'm up.  I'd really like to say that I just got up early but the truth is I've pretty much been awake since 11:30 last night.  I don't know why but everytime I come back from a prep day I just can't get a good night's sleep before the first day when I have to get up really early.  It's either I'm too hot and can't get comfortable or for some reason my bladder goes into overdrive and keeps me awake.  LIke tonight for instance right when I was about to drift off, I had to to run to the bathroom.  I have no idea what it's about other than my usual problems I have and it'll all be back to what passes for normal for me by the end of the day.  The thing that really bothers me is that I'm always afraid I'm gonna keep Nate awake too.  

Ugh.  I just wish I know why this happened on just these days.  Seriously I'll make it through work, fall onto the bed when I get home and take a long nap then tonight when I go to bed, it'll be like every other night where I'm out in about twenty mintues.  But this day?  Gah!  All the time!  It's just damn annoying!  That's why I hate this day, the work won't be hard at all since I got most of it done yesterday, but I'd just once like to get a good night's sleep before hand.  

*sigh*  At least I can use this to my advantage and go in earlier so I can leave early as well.  That's something I guess.  Still would have liked more than like an hour and a half of actual sleep. 
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Well I made it. [May. 25th, 2008|10:26 am]
[mood | content]

After apparently four or five hours of surgery, which thankfully I slept through the whole thing, they removed all 23 kidney stones from me. Which I think brings the grand total of kidney stones I've had throughout my life up to an even 30 by now. Which is kind of impressive in it's own weird way. I'm glad they're out of me though and right now I'm recovering, so I might be spotty on being all my IMs. And I may not talk much. Hopefully the rest of the recovery will go well and I'll be back to my normal self here soon.

Thanks for all the prayers and well wishes guys, it was greatly appreciated and helped out a lot.

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Update [May. 21st, 2008|04:29 pm]
[mood | anxious]

*cue Unsolved Mysteries music*

Well after rescheduling a bit cause of commencement last weekend, I'll be going in for surgery tomorrow and Friday. Tomorrow will be when they shove the tube in my side which I'm sure will be REAL fun. The actual procedure will be at 9:00 but I'll be there most of the day to recover and be on meds to deal wit the pain. Like I said, real fun. Then Friday at 7:15 is when the actual surgery is which at this point I'm not quite sure what it is, but I'm not looking forward to it.

Honestly the surgery and recovering itself isn't what freaks me it, it's the thought of waking up in the middle of the surgery. I didn't have that fear the first time around, but of course back then I didn't hear about nurses watering down the anesthesia so that paitents wake up in the middle of surgery.

Eh, I'm sure it won't happy though so I'm trying not to worry about it all that much, but it's still there. Kind of annoying really. In any case I'm not looking forward to the next few days.

Wish me luck.
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Well what a FUN day I've had! [May. 8th, 2008|01:20 pm]
[mood | cranky]
[music |"Bowled Over" by The Kinks]

First off I HAD a great fucking post going until the I accidently hit the STUPID FUCKING BACK BOTTON THAT FOR SOME REASON IS ON THE GODDAMN KEYBOARD!  

So I'm just gonna get to the body of the previous post.  I had to go to the hospital last night because I was having...problems.  Ones that are kind of embarrassing so I don't wish to talk about them, let's just say it was a downstairs thing.  What I learned last night when I went in they found out that the problem I've been having for quite a while now is actually linked to another problem I've had pretty much all my life: kidney stones!

Yep, gotta deal with them again.  What they told me last night was there was one stuck...somewhere and they were afraid it wouldn't pass safely.  So I was scheduled today to come back this morning to get it broken up.  

Or so I *thought*

Apparently no one told the urology department this so they had to call one of the doctors and get things all worked out.  When they finally did happen the urologist came in and told me, quote, "You're a quarry field!"  Apparently the one that's blocked isn't the only one I have and in fact the other rumbling around add up to to a golfball.  

Yay.  This of course means I have to have surgery done to get them all out.  It's actually something I had done before a little more than ten years ago and isn't TOO bad but I end up having a tube in my side to drain the excess fluid in my kidney and to get the others one out after they break them up.  

Again yay.  I'm not too worried though since as I said I've had this done before but of course they gotta tell you all the BAD things that can happen so I'm a little worried about it.  So...any prayers you guys wanted send my way for that would be greatly appreciated.  

Whenever that will be.  I gotta wait til they actually schedule it and call me.  Thankfully, amazingly, there's no pain in any of this.  Only a slight discomfort every once and a while.  But that's it.  So if that keeps until I can get this fixed up that would be good.  I'm afraid to talk about it a lot though incase I jinx it.  

So...yeah that's been my day.  Hopefully thinks will all good well enough.  For now I take comfort in some lines from "Bowled Over" by The Kinks:

"The Devil takes a weakened spirit
 So we must always be courageous
 And remember that God is on your side"

I know it's kinda cheesy but it helps.   

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"I got things! Oh boy did I get things"! [Mar. 25th, 2008|06:29 pm]
[mood |accomplished]

So I FINALLy got my Federal Tax Return of $771.66 dollars yesterday and mailed into my bank so it showed up today.  Naturally when I saw it in there I know there was only one thing I could do: blow as much of it as I could!  Yeah perhaps I should save some of it for later but...well...there's stuff I've been meaning to get for awhile and couldn't cause I didn't have the money.  Well now I do so of course I ran out to get the stuff I wanted as well as other things I found.  The final tally came out to be:

The Nightmare on Elm Street Collection
Friday the 13th from Crystal Lake to Manhatten Ultimate Edition DVD Collection
It's Always Sunny In Philadelpha Seasons 1 & 2
My Name Is Earl Season 2
Mystery Science Theater 300 Volume 10.2
The Invisible Man Season 1
2-Disk Unrated Version Superbad
2-Disk Version Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film For Theaters
Stargate SG-1: The Ark of Truth
Double Feature 2-DVD Set Robin Hood Men in Tights & Spaceballs
BATMAN " ARKHAM ASYLUM " 6 FIGURE SET 
BATMAN " CATWOMAN " COMIC CON EXCLUSIVE 
Spectacular Spider-Man Black Suited Spider-Man Figure
Spectacular Spider-Man Vemon Figure

And that's about it.  Also got some food so it wasn't all wasted but still I spent a lot of money today.  And tomorrow I'm gonna head out to Gary's to get the Ani-Con Batgirl statue and...probably that's about it.  Gotta save some money after all.  Now that I have all these movies and shows...I gotta make time to watch them.  So yeah might not be only for at least this week.  Hopefully I'll get through most of it.  Guess we'll see.

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One more random scene [Mar. 4th, 2008|03:24 pm]
[mood | contemplative]

So awhile ago over on my DeviantART page I made a post about a rather odd pairing for "The Batman".  That being Batgirl and Posion Ivy.  I know, not one people would immediately think of based off the comics and the old Batman: TAS series.  But based on how things where set up in "The Batman" the pairing could actually work.  Plan to do an actual fic that shows how, but for now I just wanted to post a scene for it that's been running through my mind all day at work.  

Yes again it's something distracting me from the actual fic I should be working on, but still I wanted to get it out while it was still strong in my head.  The only important infromation you guys will need to know to really understand the scene is that it's during a fight Batgirl and Ivy are having and during the middle of it Ivy finds out who exactly Batgirl is then feels angry, betrayed, yadda yadda yadda.  This is the very end of the fight.  So now that that's out of the way...



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Yay crack pairings! [Feb. 29th, 2008|05:08 pm]
Scene 1 )


Scene 2 )


Scene 3 )


Wow, haven't updated this since December.  Guess I kinda let this thing go, huh?  Oh well, not like I didn't warn you guys right?  

Anyway I'm here ignoring my Kim Possible/Doctor Who fic, again, in favor of a few scenes involving a new crack pairing I came up with.   A "crack pairing" of course being a crazy fan pairing that in no way would every happen in the show/comic/cartoon/movie or what have you.  The funny thing is I use to really hate this kinds of pairings but since I started writing Kigo fics and spending time on the Slash Haven I came to realize some of these pairings could work if written out properly.  That's actually the problem I had with most of the other crack pairings out there, no one really wants to think them through just throw them together cause they think they look cute.  Sometimes that's true, but still it's gotta make some kind of sense, right?  

That's the angle I take on all my crack pairings.  Most of them are lesbian pairings which usually are really hot, yes I'm that shallow I'm a guy, but if thought out properly work really well too.  Makes a lot of sense.  Like my latest pairing: Blackfire and Shego!  

Yes that's right, Blackfire from the Teen Titan's cartoon and Shego from Kim Possible.  I got inspired last night while watching some TT YouTube vids and remembering that their version of Blackfire is really fun and really hoooot.  So I kinda wanted to do something with her but didn't want to leave my KP stuff and that somehow translated into those two hooking up which ironically lead to me making *another* KP univese that's a merger with the TT one as well.  

Oy.  So many ideas.  TOO many ideas!  But still I go on.  To help purge this one I have three scenes in mind that I wanted to type out here.  I really have no kind of context for it other than what my crazy mind has come up with so they might not make total sense and be kind of sloppy, so I hope you'll bare with me.  Might come back to this sometime later but I really don't know.  For now just enjoy these three scenes.  

P.S. Yeah I know I put the scenes first, I fucked up the first link and I don't know how to fix it.  Sorry.
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Christmas came early. [Dec. 23rd, 2007|03:50 pm]

Well since my sister and her husband are going to spend Christmas day with his family we got to open all of our Christmas presents today.  Which is cool but it's also gonna make Tuesday seem rather unimportant.  Plus I do miss the anticipation of the day but oh well, least it's nice to see what I got.  It also lets me kick off the usual round of Christmas haul lists that make the rounds through my friends.  So here's what I got:

-$200.00 cash
-$25 gift card to Wal-Mart
-$25 gift card to Best Buy
-A few pairs of new pants which I desperately needed.
-New work shoes which I also needed
-Boombox style CD player/radio with iPod docking station.
And last but certainly not least:
-New Series Doctor Who Seasons 2 & 3.

Yep that's right I now have the first three seasons of the new Doctor Who!  Bonus, the second season includes the "Children In Need" speical that links the first two so I'm really hopeful that the fourth season set will have "Time Crash" on it.  That would be awesome.  This also means I have "Blink" which is one of the best Doctor Who eps ever.  And I'm sure Nate will be happy cause now he can make some Tenth Doctor vidoes.  

So all and all a pretty good day.  Hopefully I'll get to Wal-Mart here soon to use the gift card and maybe pay back Nate some of the money I owe him.  Plus some food for the week.  That would be nice.  

Oh and I learned that I'm going to be an uncle.  Imagine that.

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"NIXON'S BACCCCCK!!! RRAAAGGGHH"!!! [Nov. 12th, 2007|05:09 pm]
[mood | ecstatic]
[music |"I'm Back", Eric Bishoff's theme from WWE The Anthology]

So two years I FINALLY have my own computer again!   YAAAAYYY!!!  It's not perfectly as the monitor's a bit screwy so I'll have to a new one with either Christmas and tax money, and for some reason MSN Messanger won't work on it but still it's my computer!  I'm on the net on my computer!  In my own room!  Out of Nate's!  Which I know *he's* happy about. 

Again man, I gotta say thanks for being so patience with that.  I know I wouldn't have been that calm through that whole thing.  You're a better man than I.  Yeah, I said it!

Anyway, yeah still working the kinks out, like I said MSN doesn't want to work for some reason.  Have to find away to take care of that over the weekend.  Yahoo Instanst Messanger works though so for all of those on my MSN list that also have YIM look me up as Blackbird_26155 and add me onto that list til I can get back to MSN. 

Uh...surprisingly I have nothing else to say on the subject cause I'm still enjoying being online in my own room again.  Plus I'm still tried from some of the work in preping for Speical Dinner this week.  Plus I'm hoping the extra time I'll have now will allow me to get more writing done.  Which is good cause I got a lot of fics to bang out.  Probably should be back to it. 

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More fun ripping stuff off. [Sep. 1st, 2007|09:25 pm]
[Tags|]
[mood |creative]

So there's a scene from the first  New Avengers arch that I've just been dying to use for one of my stories and I finally figured out how.  Like a lot of my scenes it came to me at work and I had to fight hard to keep from laughing as it came to me.  It takes place in Shin's half of the "MI" universe when she's a teenager and following in her mothers footsteps much to their chagrin.  This scene will have a couple of minor spoilers of if you don't want to know that, don't read ahead.  The only major note I have to make is that the Al mentioned here is a teenage Alexandra from the "Another Possbility" universe.  Why she's there will be one of those things that's explained later.  

So with all that out of the way please enjoy...

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More GJ Files. [Aug. 26th, 2007|09:40 pm]
[mood |accomplished]

So I just realized that I wrote up three more GJ files for my OCs but never actually got around to posting them up here.  Going to rectify that problem now and to save time and space I'm gonna see if I can put them all up here.  I hope this works.  

Fearcrow )




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Behold, the Multiverse. [Jul. 23rd, 2007|10:51 pm]
[Tags|]
[mood | intimidated]

So after talking on MSN with NightElemental from the KP Slash Haven, I came to realize I have seven differents Kim Possible universes.  Mostly this comes from the still unfinished, and hopefully someday will be, "Kim In Exile" in which I brought various Kims together and made each one unique.  There are three main universes though which I plan to actually write in, with the "Maternal Instinct" universe being the most prominent.  Still when thinking it over it breaks down like this:

Universe 1- "MI" universe, the starting point for all my fics where Kim and Shego have a daughter named Shin.  Three stories done so far with more planned.  

Universe 2- "Another Possibility" universe where Shego dies after giving birth to their green skinned daughter Alexandra.  Kim now finds herself having to raise the child alone while dealing with Shego's death and find her place in the world.  One story written with at least two more planned.

Universe 3- "All I Really Want" universe in which Shego creates a clone of Kim to be with her after the real Kim rejects her.  Just started the story and have two sequels in mind.  

Univerese 4- "Spiderette" universe, started initially with "Laundry Room Encounter" where Kim met May "Spider-Girl" Parker and in as yet unwritten story, recieved her own spider powers after getting a blood transfusion from May.  Spiderette showed up in "Kim In Exile" and while I've had stories planned for awhile, no idea if they'll ever get written.  

Universe 5- "Shego-Kim" universe where Kim ended up with Shego's powers after getting in the way of Avarius' power swipping wand.  Like Spiderette, Shego-Kim showed up in "Kim In Exile" and the only story idea I have for her may be handled by  NightElemental once he gets time and his computer fixed.  

Universe 6- "Batgirl" universe which is a fusion between Kim Possible and The Batman.  More Elseworlds style on both of their respective universes, it's where Kim becomes Batgirl initially to help out Batman because of an indiscribable need she feels but quickly becomes darker when her activities as Batgirl causes Shego to kill her family.  Also makes an appearnce in "Kim In Exile" and that will most likely be her only one as I can't think of anything to do with her.  

Universe 7- "Cyber-Kim" universe where Kim gains cybernetic parts after barely surviving a plane crash on a mission.  Last to appeare in "Kim In Exile" and really don't have anything in mind for her.  So...that'll probably be her only appearence as well.  

And in the middle of all this is Ben and his team trying to keep the whole of time and space from crashing in on itself.  After straightening out just this mess I don't blame him.  It just goes to show how many ideas my overactive mind can come up with and how many might actually see the light of day.  Right now at least one story from the three main universes will be done, but as for the others...I really don't know right now.  Just gotta take it one story at a time.
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Why do I even bother? [Jul. 4th, 2007|03:14 pm]
[mood | depressed]
[music |"I'm A Failure".]

So this is probably gonna sound like another pity-party, "whoo is me", "emo" post so if you guys don't want to read it, you better back out now.  I don't care if it does make me sound shallow or petty but I just have to get this off my chest.  

I'm really starting to hate the "I Accept Your Challenge" board over on the KP Slash Haven.  There's nothing inheirently wrong with it, but I've seen so many challenges for ideas that I've actually written!  Like there's a thread now how somehow giving Kim Spider-Man like powers, which I've done!  Now I'm not too upset about that one in particular, cause the story I introduced her in hasn't been touched for like almost a year, but there are other things out there that I've seen where I have to point out my own works.  

Someone talked about having a blonde Kim which I realdy did that in the form of the Kim clone Ren Reilly.  

There was talk about bringing mulitple Kims together ala Exiles.  Did that too.  Though again haven't touched it in a year.  

There was a recent one about Kim's mom going by the pre-Possible able name Kredible, making her Anna Kredible.  Of course this put me in my mind of my own characer Jen Credible. 

In fact before THAT a long time ago there was a challenge to make Kim meet up with another world saving teen girl.  Sound familiar?  Apparently only one other person thought so.  Again that's when it was new so maybe a lot of people probably didn't get to read it.  

The point of all this is, I've spent so much time introducing new and, I think, exciting things into the KP universe through my fics and apparently no one cares.  I keep hearing things about how I'm a great writer and my fics are some of the best stuff out there and hell I recently had someone say I compared to Joss Whedon.  Do you have any idea how much of a geek compliment that is?!  Hell it's just a great compliment in general!  Whedon and his crew have done some amazing stuff and being told I compare to them is just...wow.  

So then how come no one ever remembers my stuff?  I've had this feeling lately that I haven't been making any kind of impact on the Kigo fandom or KP fandom in general and everytime I see a new Challenge asking for someone to write something I've already done, it just seems like that feeling is justified.  Apparently my stuff is really good when you read it, but it doesn't stay with anyone.  They read it, said they enjoyed it, and then move on with their lives without looking back.  Maybe that's just the nature of the beast.  

The problem with that is I've seen people make HUUUUUUGE impacts with their stories and their characters.  Hell, just look around through DA and you'll see hundresds of pics based on NoDrogs' characters Kasy and Sheki.  Then there's Hob's Kara Fang who people use as an example of how to create the perfect OC.  I'm not saying these people don't deserve their fame cause they've worked hard and have created some truely great pieces of writing.  

I just want to know what the secret is.  If my stuff is as good as theirs, and some people say even better than NoDrogs, then why am I just kind of another voice in the crowd?  Again, I know this sounds horribily selfish and I'm sure Nate would love to just smack me in the face for not appreciating all this internet fame when his stories are unjusticely passed over, but I just can't help it.  I'm sure some of it has to do with my deep rooted self esteeem issues and that fact that my dad really didn't give much encrouagement towards my writing, but I also think it's just one of those things deeply ingrained in the human psyche.  

Well all want people to know that we were here by leaving some kind of mark on the world.  That's doublely true for creative types.  Now they can all go the noble route and say they're doing it just for themselves or just because they enjoy doing it, and that is paritaly true, but if anyone says they're doing it ONLY for that and don't want any fame, they their just flat out lying.  We ALL want someone to acknowledge our hard work and we ALL want to be famous for it.  That's why it's so easy to get jealous of the few who can accomplish that and just sit there screaming, "Why not me?!"  We've all had those phases, I don't care who you are.  

And maybe that's just it.  Maybe I'm just going through another "Why not me?!" phase.  But I just can't but wonder if I just stopped writing right now and didn't post another fic, would any one even care?  Hell would they even notice?  I want to say yes and maybe it's even true, but I just can't believe that right now.  Maybe someday. 
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